Over the last several weeks, my spam filter has held a large number of comments filled with Abrahamic eschatology. At first, not seeing a strong overlap in audience, I thought it might be an automated barrage of every comment field they could find. Each of them being in German just made it seem more like … Continue reading Not With a Bang But a Note
Like many others in the United Kingdom, I hope our new overlords’ actions do bring great benefits to the entire nation. However, as I have mentioned previously, we cannot sit back and expect others to do everything for us. Thus, I thought I would reshare a relevant article on how we might each better prepare ourselves for the future:
All who bear the burden of unholy knowledge know that Yog-Sothoth, the gate and the key, is perceived in congruence, and that the reasoned half of the mind is our protection from horrific truths. Thus, when I encountered a headline about a forthcoming Lovecraftian project and read the producer not as Jordan Peele but as Jordan Peterson, I both quailed at the blasphemous congruence and felt compelled to explore this intersection. I was ill-prepared for the underlying truths revealed in Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life!
Stand up straight with your shoulders back: Many unspeakable abominations are hunched, lack shoulders, or even bilateral symmetry. An upright posture that highlights your arms will therefore signal to others that you are likely to be human. Also, focusing on your posture will distract you from your surroundings, reducing the risk of perceiving the incomprehensible.
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping:
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Last night, while attempting to pet Jasper as he demanded without having my arm closer than he allowed it, I was struck with a great revelation: Lovecraft's portrayal of the Elder Things as five-sided, pseudo-vegetable, barrels concealed their true forms. Both Jasper and Una frequently demand fusses while simultaneously complaining should I move my body … Continue reading Anent The Most Lively Fuzziness
Greetings anaclowderian thumbbearers. As previously mentioned, Jasper and Una have undertaken a throughout test and optimisation of the inside of the house. However, in the year since we moved they have also improved the outside of the house. For example, while the rainproof sitting space next to the back door is acceptable, the scrunchly cushion … Continue reading Catio Furniture
It appears I am not alone in casting clowns as positive rather than negative social forces. I have just discovered that “a New Zealand man facing the ax (sic) at work brought a support clown to his recent redundancy meeting…”.(New York Post). Which of course raises a rather important question. Which other figures that conjure … Continue reading The King in Grey
Certain governments have recently taken stances on the trustworthiness of Chinese telecommunications businesses: the US a hard line; the UK a partnership. However, perhaps both this pessimism and this optimism are directed toward the wrong target. Perhaps the spying is more subtle and against a different target. Each of the cat litter trays we've bought … Continue reading One Scoop or Two?
All who bear the burden of unholy knowledge know that Yog-Sothoth, the gate and the key, is perceived in congruence, and that the reasoned half of the mind is our protection from horrific truths. Thus, when I encountered a headline about a forthcoming Lovecraftian project and read the producer not as Jordan Peele but as … Continue reading Twelve Rules for Life in an Uncaring Cosmos
Are you concerned about secret conspiracies not having enough fun? Do you think "They" are bored while watching you? If you answered Yes to either of these questions, you need The IllumiNightie. Unlike ordinary nighties, The IllumiNightie has an all-encompassing hood featuring the all-seeing eye so you too can look like a gentle pastiche of … Continue reading The IllumiNightie
This year, we are celebrating the festive season at home. While Jasper and Una have settled well after the move, my wife and I decided it was probably still too early to suddenly disappeared for several days and have a stranger started invade the house a couple of times a day to lurk near the … Continue reading Lovecraftian Yule
The home and garden centre around the corner has one stand of Halloween decorations but half a floor of Christmas paraphernalia. The carols have started. The online retailers have started their reminders to shop early. With only the Conservative Party Conference remaining true to the mix of horror and hearkening back to a mythical past … Continue reading Clawing Back Sanity