Lovecraftian Yule

This year, we are celebrating the festive season at home. While Jasper and Una have settled well after the move, my wife and I decided it was probably still too early to suddenly disappeared for several days and have a stranger started invade the house a couple of times a day to lurk near the food bowls and the litter tray. So, we are hosting all our parents.

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Clawing Back Sanity

The home and garden centre around the corner has one stand of Halloween decorations but half a floor of Christmas paraphernalia. The carols have started. The online retailers have started their reminders to shop early.

With only the Conservative Party Conference remaining true to the mix of horror and hearkening back to a mythical past that should mark October, it is time we take a stand.

There is only one solution:

Pulping the Classics

I had a conversation over the weekend about whether certain genres need to be about particular things or whether they can be an aesthetic. And, as is common with discussion of genre boundaries, the discussion soon sent out a tendril into the field of literature vs. genre fiction. While the difference—if any—between literary and genre fiction is of interest to me, I was more intrigued by the question of whether the reverse of magical realism existed: a genre version of literature. So, I experimented with a pulp version of the opening of an American classic. I present it below, not to prove or disprove a hypothesis but in the hope it will amuse.

The Film That Should Not Be!

As further evidence of a universe that basks in blessed madness, Episode 92 of the Geek Podcast: The Nasgûl & The Bus Driver makes passing reference to one of my moments of Yog-Sothothic whimsy. For those seeking the ultimate in roiling blasphemy, it’s also on iTunes.

A logo formed of a red square with Geek Questioner Podcast number 92 week in review the nasgul and the busdriver on it

Should you feel mentally prepared for those secrets Charlie Hooper refused to share, I reproduce my suggestions of films altered by the name Cthulhu below: Correlate the contents of your mind…

Either Way, It’s Better Than Imaginary Enemies

This short film about growing up seen from the perspective of a girl’s imaginary friend rather pleased me:

Not utterly sure whether abandoning the imaginary is a necessary part of adulthood – but then I suspect most authors would be silent without their imaginary companions – but the aesthetics are most apposite to my interests.

Mock Trial

There are two sorts of people in the world: people who are not involved in a legal proceedings, who think that the law is somewhat ridiculous; and people who are involved in legal proceedings, who think that the law is of the utmost seriousness. However, it can’t be denied that there are sometimes cases that tickle my fancy; although not always for the reasons they please most.

Fear of the Spork

100 Words of Speculation written over a background of fountain pen and printed text

“My theory? These are what kept humans from dying out like the Torgal.” Ambassador Zarlec pointed a spindly finger at a cabinet.

“Spoons?”

“Not just spoons. Horn spoons. Wooden spoons.”

“And…?”

The ambassador’s eyes flickered grey with embarrassment. “If you focus the emitter from a portable scanner just right, you can make metal twist. When you’re young… you know how trends happen… cutlery bending just took off.”

“That was your people playing a prank?”

“The Torgal discovered metal early. Their brains were still evolving; I think they became too terrified of cutlery to eat.”