There are two sorts of people in the world: people who are not involved in a legal proceedings, who think that the law is somewhat ridiculous; and people who are involved in legal proceedings, who think that the law is of the utmost seriousness. However, it can’t be denied that there are sometimes cases that tickle my fancy; although not always for the reasons they please most. …
“My theory? These are what kept humans from dying out like the Torgal.” Ambassador Zarlec pointed a spindly finger at a cabinet.
“Not just spoons. Horn spoons. Wooden spoons.”
The ambassador’s eyes flickered grey with embarrassment. “If you focus the emitter from a portable scanner just right, you can make metal twist. When you’re young… you know how trends happen… cutlery bending just took off.”
“That was your people playing a prank?”
“The Torgal discovered metal early. Their brains were still evolving; I think they became too terrified of cutlery to eat.”
Basildon Watt glanced down. Brass jaws snapped shut inches below as the clockwork alligators strained for his feet. Maybe not the best day to show off his new hand-stitched brogues after all.
Not that he’d notice their demise. The scrolling laser would reach him well before one of the mechanical lizards got around to standing on it’s fellows.
“The orbital mining was obviously for the engagement ring, Don Pagliacci. But, why kidnap the world’s leading experts on Mustelidae?”
Pagliacci waved his cigar dramatically. “Isn’t it obvious, Mr Watt? I’m going to make the world an otter it can’t defuse!”
Sentence 99%. Approximately 13 minutes remaining.
A few more wrinkles and a lot less hair, but I’m almost free.
Liberals say the timers are inhumane. I like it though: last thing at night and first thing in the morning I see how long I’ve got.
And if you fuck up, seeing it go up drives it home the way them saying they’ve added two years doesn’t. So, you stop fucking up.
Approximately 9 minutes remaining.
Almost close enough to count on my fingers.
Sentence 90%. Approximately 182 days 13 hours remaining.
What the…! Why are MacroFirm even running prisons anyway?
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
– Ambrose Bierce
Yes, the title is a double entrendre.
To celebrate the last remnants of the plague that struck at me last week being defeated have a picture of Jasper defeating a plague rat.
I’m retreating to my burrow for Jól. But, before I do, have a song that combines two of my favourite things: books and Yog-Sothothery.
I’ll see the survivors next year.
Do you find yourself needing to display the power and majesty of the Empire, without causing the more delicate members of your expedition to swoon at the sight of your power and majesty? I might have the solution.
I know I’ll be happier during an attack by chthonic entities knowing I don’t have to choose between taking the time to dress and having my valet shave me. And, as one of the first ten purchasers, the tailor added Tillighastification at no extra charge; so I’ll be equally protected against non-corporeal entities.
If we take the approach that necromancers defile bodies so have forgone their right to be considered people, do those who fight for equality before the law become insuresurrectionists?
I’ve recently started playing Batman: Arkham Asylum. Overall, it’s a great fun game but there’s one niggle: saved games – or rather the lack thereof. …