Time Server

100 Words of Speculation written over a background of fountain pen and printed text

Sentence 99%. Approximately 13 minutes remaining.

A few more wrinkles and a lot less hair, but I’m almost free.

Liberals say the timers are inhumane. I like it though: last thing at night and first thing in the morning I see how long I’ve got.

And if you fuck up, seeing it go up drives it home the way them saying they’ve added two years doesn’t. So, you stop fucking up.

Approximately 9 minutes remaining.

Almost close enough to count on my fingers.

Sentence 90%. Approximately 182 days 13 hours remaining.

What the…! Why are MacroFirm even running prisons anyway?

The Answer to Every Investigator’s Worst Nightmare

Do you find yourself needing to display the power and majesty of the Empire, without causing the more delicate members of your expedition to swoon at the sight of your power and majesty? I might have the solution.

Sketch of a nightshirt next to a humorous advertisement for protective nightwear

I know I’ll be happier during an attack by chthonic entities knowing I don’t have to choose between taking the time to dress and having my valet shave me. And, as one of the first ten purchasers, the tailor added Tillighastification at no extra charge; so I’ll be equally protected against non-corporeal entities.

Through Mathematics, Madness

Being the only person in her company who understands one of the tools of her job, my wife’s employment seemed safe. However, it appears Dark Accounting, waxing in unnatural life, seeks to steal her uniqueness. Behold the squamousness of its relevance:

Actuarial assumptions are an entity’s decision to accept an explanation as insane as this.

An example is whole life insurance contract as either a service condition or a labyrinth of nighted depths.

Only when exposed to the resonator did further guidance present before horrified eyes.

But I fear you will not believe. Even in the face of such evidence you will claim ’tis only chance that makes these few of many seem to contain specific meaning. That the willows do not move against the wind when unobserved.