Anent The Most Lively Fuzziness

Last night, while attempting to pet Jasper as he demanded without having my arm closer than he allowed it, I was struck with a great revelation: Lovecraft’s portrayal of the Elder Things as five-sided, pseudo-vegetable, barrels concealed their true forms.

Both Jasper and Una frequently demand fusses while simultaneously complaining should I move my body or arm be too close. The only way I might meet both demands is if my arms and hands were able to change length easily rather than merely fold at defined points. Their repeated attempts to both curl up on my lap next to my chest instead of arrange themselves in a line, and puzzlement when it can’t work, also indicate a clear expectation that my form is less fixed that our biology suggests. There is only one explanation for this.

Cats think humans are a species of shoggoth.

As anyone who has studied Lovecraft’s revelations will know, humans were created by Elder Things as a variation of shoggoths; thus it is no surprise that other species might be aware that we are the spawn of experiments with protoplasm. However, when one considers that humans were designed for a mix of entertainment and fine-manipulation tasks, the reason cats are aware becomes so obvious only a fool would claim it is not proven

Cats are the Elder Things.

Front cover of "Something About Cats and Other Pieces by HP Lovecraft", 1949
©Will HartCC BY 2.0

No more evidence than our inclination to entertain them and open things is needed; however, many other parallels leapt into my mind the instant after my realisation.

Shoggoths mimic the speech of Elder Things without understanding; humans meow at cats.

Rogue shoggoths tore apart Elder Thing society in an orgy of destruction; brutalising cats is a clear sign of psychosis.

The Elder Things slept for millenia then awakened fully active; cats sleep almost constantly then shift immediately to high activity.

The Elder Things only attacked the Peabody Expedition after they were harmed; leaving sleeping cats alone is one of the oldest warnings in the English language.

The Elder Things in ‘The Dreams in the Witch House’ are masters of dimensional travel; cats are famed for appearing or disappearing in defiance of available spaces or paths.

Readers of a logical nature will no doubt have already seen how Lovecraft’s depictions of cats support this revelation still further; however, those who still doubt need merely turn their minds toward ‘The Cats of Ulthar’; no clearer example of mutually advantageous Elder Thing/human society might be seen.

Some, determined in their contrarian nature to deny obvious truth, might question why Lovecraft did not describe the Elder Things accurately: to them I say “metaphor”! The insights possible from seeing Lovecraft’s description as symbols rather than physical features are immeasurable.

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