The Film That Should Not Be!

As further evidence of a universe that basks in blessed madness, Episode 92 of the Geek Podcast: The Nasgûl & The Bus Driver makes passing reference to one of my moments of Yog-Sothothic whimsy. For those seeking the ultimate in roiling blasphemy, it’s also on iTunes.

A logo formed of a red square with Geek Questioner Podcast number 92 week in review the nasgul and the busdriver on it

Should you feel mentally prepared for those secrets Charlie Hooper refused to share, I reproduce my suggestions of films altered by the name Cthulhu below:

True Cthulhu (True Lies) A suburban housewife is tricked by a serial seducer into believing in elemental alignments and beneficent Elder Gods. Her husband, part of a secret government agency dedicated to fighting inhuman threats, uses the resources of his agency to prank her. The renewed connection sparked by her discovery of the prank proves to be irrelevant in the face of an incomprehensible and uncaring universe.

The Wicker Cthulhu (The Wicker Man) A puritanical police sergeant travels to a small island where the lord of the isle leads the inhabitants in pagan rites designed to ensure fecundity. Rather than lead him on a complex chase, the inhabitants drug him and sacrifice him shortly after his arrival. Their attempts to improve the harvest prove to be irrelevant in the face of an incomprehensible and uncaring universe.

Jan Svankmajer’s Cthulhu (Jan Svankmajer’s Alice) Embodying everything that a Gordon/Yunza production doesn’t, this seminal work of post-surrealist cinematography eschews rubbery masks and gore spray to capture the true essence of the Mythos. This confirmation that it is possible to make a good Lovecraft film proves to be irrelevant in the face of an incomprehensible and uncaring universe.

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