Romantic books and films show the path from first meeting to forever as a series of struggles and reversals; show love as a disruptive rather than supportive force. Which makes sense, as fiction without challenge usually lacks interest. However, this unconscious acceptance that love is pain might go deeper than that; deep enough that we need to change our language.
Assuming that is, that we wish to make love calm.
Throughout history, religions and magical systems have used rituals that smite the initiate with the force of the divine so they might rebuild themselves free of the hampering past; rebuild themselves as part of a new and better whole. And what is love by the desire to exchange the isolated I and You for a new and better Us?
The ideal we seek in love is not two things stuck together that can be pulled apart again, left damaged and isolated, but a gestalt that has no impact scars to fracture along. A conversion that reaches to the smallest part of existence like a spiritual quantum event, a metaphysical collision of two that creates not a fusion but a new thing altogether.
Maybe the language of love should bring more force to bear not less.