Chunk Wendig is currently running an awkward author photograph contest. As entrants are limited to a single photograph, I had to make some hard choices. However, as I make the rules here, I decided to share three of the photographs that didn’t make the cut.
Each of them was taken for a Legendary Author Battles competitor card, but without context they can spark completely different narratives.
Some effete dandies write short modernist sentences, but I’m the kind of hard-drinking, hard-fighting author who spits in Hemmingway’s eye and isn’t afraid to use nested clauses and complex vocabulary.
Don’t like my work? No bother to me. Not everyone’s manly enough to take all that awesome at once.
Some people believe my work references ancient conspiracies. Conceals the links between the Illuminati and Roswell beneath a veneer of fiction.
Those people are wrong.
The truth is much more terrible.
The Dark Prince
My work will transport you to a realm of dark cults and powerful magics. Wrap you in a dark cocoon, holding you tight until night gives your terrors wings of broken glass.
Buy the sequel to discover how to transport yourself back to this world.
Of course my current author photograph also lacks context, so could provoke similar alternate histories.
What wild and unfeasible biographies can you conceive from these photographs? Do you think one of these would make a better author photograph than the current one?