New mouth found to reduce stress levels after strenuous exercise

I received the above comment a few days ago. Cynics might suggest that it is the product of an automated system, empty in time and space and meaning, but I choose to look at it as hand-crafted to match the demographic of my audience after an exhaustive study which identified me as a top influencer. I have discerned the layered secrets within, and urge you to give this apparent spam the careful study it warrants. The lack of clarity, like a koan, frees the mind from established thought to ask questions of our inner self.

On the surface it opens a new perspective on the self-esteem issue we suffer seeing not the additional allure of perspiration on a model but the aversion of sweat on gurner: Is my dissatisfaction with my reflection caused by my exercise plan dehydrating my lips? Is the dehydration partly due to my current mouth gasping open after exertion?

Looking deeper, the lack of a comma leads the seeker toward understanding of the dichotomy in our vanity-driven lives: does it actually say that stress levels caused by exercise can be reduced, or is it revealing that reductions in stress due to plastic surgery are actually the result of the exercise regime newly beautiful people tend to adopt?

I Picture The Body Electric!
dhammzaCC BY NC ND 2.0)

Spiralling deeper, we discover the inner world is the outer. To the modern rational man, the mouth is an integral part of the human body, a void formed by the confluence of other parts, that cannot simply be swapped out like a car tyre. But to the transhumanist it is merely the first model of an ongoing communication project. Is this a sigil charged by techno-mages to open the second mouth of technology to speak in electrons the truths of our third eye?

Or is it a viral advert for yet another generation of mobile phone?

Or maybe I have written more serious posts for several weeks, so it is a personal message from the universe that it was time to write something lighter.

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32 thoughts on “New mouth found to reduce stress levels after strenuous exercise

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    1. Simple answer: mind control.

      By wrapping my blue pills in aluminium foil before I swallow them I have prevented the bad men from stealing my thoughts and increased my satisfaction by 120%.


    2. Do you want a back cover art for the book cover or just a front cover illustration? Also how sholud we submit the cover, in terms of do you want the template in the pdf used or sholud it just be sent to you as an A4 page? Finally, how do you want the captions presented if the illustration is being sent as a full bleed? sholud it be sent as a seperate page?


      1. To prevent non-readers from discovering the truths contained on the cover, I would prefer that the art was only on the inside of the cover.

        To permit the captions to be displayed within the bleed while allowing the images to exceed the bleed, please submit all files as constrained n-dimensional manifolds 5″ by 27.13cm.


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      I am glad I am not the only person who feels everything contains humour if viewed from the right perspective.

      I am not certain about Lady Gaga as an avatar of Aphrodite though; I have always seen her more as Eris.


    1. I wasn’t aware victory worked through the application of avatars to popular media; however, I can see how it would allow for the greatest volume of programming. The use of dress sizes to filter the men showcased is an interesting approach.

      While I am prepared to accept Vuitton is leveraging the association of homosexuality and fashion to add cachet to his brand, the idea Kors is part of some secret government conspiracy to disappear people lacks evidence. Given the obvious black bag joke, the theory might even be a prank gone viral.


    1. An interesting approach.

      An echo of the adversarial role Coyote took to drive the creation of the Fifth World could be seen in the use of coyote fur to make jackets.

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    1. I’ve encountered many variations on English grammar, including the non-u. However, I’ve never seen “seals” spelt that way; is that an outlier in your dialect, or is there a significant minority of instances?

      Either way, the warning about self-medicating pinnipeds potentially leading to drug-resistant parasites is a timely one.


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