Feeling My Thousand Years

Obsessive followers of my work will have noticed I did not post my usual two thoughts and a review this week. Both my computer and I are suffering the results of ill-health: in my case a virus that attacked my digestion; in the case of my computer an odd issue with some programs connecting to the internet.

I’d rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet. – Jack London

While I agree with London’s sentiment, the enervating effects of sickness and diarrhoea were sufficient to leave me with no interest in keeping my schedule even if it were sensible to attempt it. Even after I could again remain fully awake for several hours at a stretch, the gremlin in my computer first removed my desire to return to the keyboard then turned such time as I spent toward seeking a fix. Finally I am well enough to move beyond the endless search for a solution.

However waiting for seven hours while a virus scanner went through all of my backups seeking any deeply hidden issues did give me time to consider whether and how I would announce the reasons behind my short absence. Would I write a poem or figurative prose to evoke the emotional turmoil? A humorous dismissal of the situation comparing the enforced physical and technological purging to an expensive life spa? A brief statement that I had been ill? A simple return to posting (perhaps cursing or treasuring the level of “You are back” comments)?

Each of these might have a place. Of more interest to me though was that in immediately dismissing description of my physical symptoms as a choice I discovered I could not recall much of the actual events. I can still recall a few brief snapshots and a general malaise but could not give an accurate accounting of when or how often most things happened. As the general experience was unpleasant I overall join with HP Lovecraft in praising the inability of the human brain to catalogue its contents.

Of course, as a writer I have filed away those instances I remember to call forth later and lament the lack of better data.

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