I do not think it means what you think it means

Although I have spent much of my time looking at cat-related products recently, I have still taken note of the unintended oddities scattered across my surroundings. Oddities which might reveal a threat to our very way of life.

While using the facilities in a shopping centre I saw the following notice on a cubicle:

OUT OF ORDER
We are aware of the situation
and it will be maintained

I suspect that they meant repaired; however part of my wonders if it is the start of greater honesty in signs. Will we soon see name badges reading “Hello my name is Barry. Can I convince you to spend more money?”

Or maybe there is a more sinister explanation; the repair man reached for the wrong bottle and cannot complete the work due to mutation.

Displayed in the window of a local chemist there is a bottle of Volumising Lavender Hand Scrub. I can only assume this is for those times when your hands are limp and lifeless. Does it merely inflate the hairs on the backs of your hands? Or is it an alchemical potion with the power to enlarge your very hands? Those of us who are old enough to remember the Peach Incident (or Trotter’s Folly as it was known at the time) will already be aware of how the consequences of even a small amount of potion can quickly expand beyond any efforts at containment.

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